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Spank my Bottom, Darling - Please!: the Lives & Loves of Ardent Switches

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Then my cousin Leanne leaned over and whispered in my ear: “I haven’t had my turn yet.” As I zipped up my jeans, I allowed her to lead me into another room, where we were alone. I was elated and a bit tipsy. Leanne was much older than me – about 45, I guess, and quite solidly built. She seductively slipped me a 50 dollar bill, and said: “How about a special private little birthday spanking, in your birthday suit, honey-pie?” Sure enough a ringing instruction rang out, clear as a bell, which was their cue to resume their viewing position: “right, Vicar, I think you’ve covered the terrain. Now we change places and I show you how it’s done. Only fair when bottoms are bare that givers are also receivers”. Ayn scowled and put her face and inch from mine. Her perfume smelled sweet and her breath smelled of cinnamon. It was a sharp contrast between how she smelled and how she glared. "I am going to spank your bare bottom, little man! You are a shrimp and are going to pay for the nasty attitude you've shown me for years." It's true that I'm a little man as I stand 5'2" 120 pounds. I am tiny compared to my sister. She continued in a devilish whisper, "I've waited for Momma to give me authority over you and now I have it!" At this she grabbed my right wrist and dragged me to the kitchen. She fished a spatula out of a kitchen drawer with her free hand and held onto me with the other. She slapped the plastic spatula on the wooden counter and turned her full attention to me. She stared down at me right in the eyes and said, "Young man, you are going to get the spanking of your life." She reached down to the crotch of my jeans toward the zipper, and I tried to stop her but her hands were too strong and she overpowered me. She jerked my jeans down to my knees and, while I stood before her, she reached her long red fingernails into my underwear and tugged them down to the tops of my thighs.

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The two-day car journey from New York to Grand Rapids, Michigan was thrilling – it took in Niagara Falls, drive-in hamburger joints and Howard Johnson’s 47 flavours of ice-cream (whatever the weather). At one filling station, however, I saw something you don’t see in the UK – a novelty birthday spanking paddle… I have just finished the first incident in the ‘Saint Helena High School for Wayward Girls ~ Incident Log’ Then from out of nowhere (I didn’t see a handbag) she produced a tube of balsam soothing cream, and began to rub some into my cheeks which by now were very hot and pink.

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The next day, I felt very sheepish – what had happened there last night, I wondered? However, everyone else was normal and cheerful. Leanne hugged and patted me, and Charlotte told me how much she liked my ‘cute little English bottom’. Aunt Peggy laughed and agreed. “He’s got a bottom made for spanking. It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it!” A little tune is played, we sup our first gulp, look at the bottoms on show, and settle down for a blushing bottom tale of spanking… Penny sat on very cold stone, at first a yelp and then a wriggle, then settled her cheeks in for the duration. Tasha draped over the matronly knee, Penny, though bursting at the seams to begin, stroked the target of her frustration and admiration – the magnificent moon of her pal. So recalling some of the lesson learnt from this morning’s tutorial show, she raised her hand above those cheeks and whapped it down as first shot in an opening salvo. The barrage went on and Tasha did shout out, most satisfactorily “ow!, Oh!, Ah!, aaah” and of course then added “that hurts!”. It is an old line but time-served. Even so, at my school in London there was no question of being made to take even your trousers down when you misbehaved, so the possibility that my relatives might administer a birthday spanking in public across my underpants still gave me the heebie-jeebies! I was relieved that Charlotte had kept her leggings on, scant protection though they were, but as if she read my mind, Peggy added: “Pants down birthday spankings for the boys always, but not the girls. That wouldn’t be proper.”

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Now Penny, my dear”, said Tasha “I know I have been out of line as chum and deserve attentions to my bare bum. May I say, we’ve just had a masterclass in how it’s done from Mrs F, shall we set to?” There is always a rather rowdy, ribald crowd, with plump bare bottomed lasses on their knees giggling. The majority are plump older women, with ‘their girl’. We go and sit, she is about to start a tale….not verse, not poetry, but something akin to Chaucer, and his Canterbury tales.So, one December, Uncle Donald, his wife Peggy and my cousin Leanne collected 14-year-old me from JFK airport whilst my mum and dad went on a business trip to Pittsburgh for a week. The idea was that we’d all meet up for Christmas again in Michigan. Tasha said “now Penny, you know you want to and as parish council member it is your business to know what’s what, which includes Vicar’s tendency –he is quite new. Call it parish practicalities, and by all means I’ll bend and bare for old fashioned justice when we are through…” I felt a pain in my stomach and said, "S-s-s-spank me? But I did nothing wrong! I don't believe Momma said that for a second! I haven't been spanked in ten years!"

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