Vesta Chow Mein, 152 g Box (Pack of 1)

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In a wok or deep medium pot where the oil will only come up about half the height of the pot, heat the oil to 375-400°F (190-204°C). Use a deep fry thermometer/candy thermometer to maintain temperature. M&S - in the early/mid 2000s they did a delicious fresh pasta microwave meal with creamy blue cheese sauce and bacon. It might’ve had spinach too. Delicious it was.

If you want to use these noodles as a base in a stir-fry dish, simply cook them as above and add your favourite sauce and stir-fried veggies.In a large frying pan or wok, heat your frying oil over a medium heat. Add the noodles and deep fry until they’re golden brown and crispy – around 2 minutes. Remove them from the oil and rest them on kitchen paper to absorb any excess oil. Season to taste. That was 30 years ago, I guess it was the nutritional equivalent of a pot noodle, which came in a bit later and probably took Vesta's market away...........

Be careful when adding the noodles to oil. As there will still be some level of moisture present, it will cause the oil to bubble vigorously. Be extra careful, use tongs or mitts if necessary.If you're a regular Superdrug shopper, you can now earn more freebies and discounts under its Health & Beautycard loyalty scheme, as the retailer has launched new 'VIP Rewards' as part of it. Vesta was before my time but I often have some noodle products in the cupboard for the occation when you can't be bothered with anything else. Let them cool completely before storing them in an air tight container or use them immediately. These can be stored for up to 10 days in an airtight container. And so we also cooked the chow mein. In went various sachets of “beef” and egg noodles; soon the smell of fat, soy sauce, and sugar-filled the air. I marvelled at just how small pieces of carrot could be, but for a time I was unconvinced. McVities now offer a pineapple flavoured Jaffa Cake. It might not completely ease your citrus-based pain, but they're quite nice.

I used to like boil in the bag kippers but neither my local Lidl or Sainsbury sell them now ...... Sainsbury used to sell them and maybe the bigger stores still doSomehow the grit and hard-soft noodles swell so that you're left with a pile of slithery flat noodles in a disgusting brown gloop. The crispy noodles (and there were lots!) save the day, as does the sachet of soy sauce, which almost masks the awful flavour of the thing itself. I was drunk, and I ate it. It was, of course, disgusting. Just a large pot noodle but with 100 times the hassle. It was only when the crispy noodles were added to another frying pan that my interest truly piqued. In the bubbling fat, slivers of dried nothingness rose from hot oil like golden phoenix-strands of noodly fire, the rice and wheat flours egged on majestically by tapioca. If you can’t find noodles, egg roll skins or egg wonton skins both work. Both can be cut into wide strips for frying. I was always ready for such offerings. Bernard Matthews, whoever he was, was a kind man who provided me with a generous vehicle for mayonnaise. I used to sprinkle cayenne pepper on top for added oomph. My broccoli was only welcome if it arrived in butter and garlic.