Want to be Spanked?

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A server approached us, a pretty young lady no more than 20 years old. Her name tag said, "Melanie," and with a polite, almost shy, smile she asked what we'd like to drink. Whether you wish a structured discipline scene, a harsh punishment or a therapeutic release type spanking, I would be happy to provide you with that.

Spanking is a thing? A sexy thing?" she asked. When I nodded, she paused for a moment. “OK, I'll give it a try." This is an advice column, TATER. People send in questions; I answer those questions. So I’m not pushing my views on anyone here. I’m sharing my views. That’s literally my job. And I’m not the first advice columnist to urge a cheater to withhold the truth from a partner: “The adulterer who wants to ‘set everything right’ by telling all would be better advised to keep his mouth shut and work out his guilt by behaving in a more thoughtful, loving, considerate way and stay out of other beds in the future.” That’s from The Ann Landers Encyclopedia, which was published in 1978. (Ann assumes all adulterers are male; I guess she could also be accused of “taking sides.”) Safewords give subs control over all play. Despite subs’ nominal subservience, the core irony of BDSM play is that the subs are always in charge, thanks to safe words. If subs feel uneasy, they might say “yellow light,” meaning they’d like to stay in role but discuss their ambivalence. If subs feel threatened, they might say “red light.” Role-playing ends. The action stops. And participants reconsider their agreements. Stress release: Individuals may find similar benefits from spanking therapy as those from mindful activities, such as meditation. Authentic hand spanking on my very cheeky pert bare bottom .A very angry headmistress (wife) can and does apply punishment often and soundly .

Beyond BDSM: Pain as Pleasure

Three-quarters (78%) said they were born submissive. “I don’t know why. I was born that way.” “I was like 5 when I started having BDSM fantasies.” “At a young age, long before I felt any interest in sex, I daydreamed being blindfolded, tied up, and whipped.” Jennifer caught me, of course. I'd driven 300 miles to go to a small spanking party in Washington, DC. It was at someone's house, and it was two days of awesome. At one point, I was in a hot tub with a woman who acted in spanking films and the female host, a retired police lieutenant. But as exciting as that was, I wanted to experience spanking with someone I loved. I didn't want to have spanking on the side; I wanted it front and center. According to a 2015 article, people may take part in BDSM activities such as spanking for nonsexual reasons.

If you're leaning towards yes, then the best way to satisfy your curiosity is to try it out (with your boyfriend's consent, of course, which we'll get to in a moment). Keep in mind that trying spanking once doesn't mean you're agreeing to be spanked every time you have sex. If you try it and you don't like it, you can stop. You might try it and find that you like it, but don't want a steady diet of it. Like any other sexual activity, trying spanking once doesn't mean that you have to, or will want to, experience it every time. Or, you might try it and find that it's something you want on a frequent basis. There are no rules here. Even though my sex life is the best it has ever been, it’s more important to me that I’ve figured out how I define my feminism for myself. The thrills of a dom/sub relationship might not work for other women and men who use the same “feminist” label that I do, but I’m not worrying about them anymore. I know I can enjoy a bedroom dynamic which, outside the bedroom, wouldn’t be acceptable. And I can still call myself a feminist.

The following are answers to common questions about spanking therapy. Is spanking therapy always sexual?