No Such Thing as Normal

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Gray believes that focusing on and celebrating the strengths of neurodivergent people - rather than the challenges - is one of the missing pieces of the puzzle. " The diagnostic criteria for these conditions is based on a deficit model. It looks at what people can’t do – not at what they can. My daughter Inez has the most incredible brain, she sees things in a way most people don’t. But none of her many diagnoses reflects that”. When making those assessments, the evidence can be obvious, or can take some further sleuthing on the clinician’s part to determine who meets the criteria and who do not display enough evidence of irregularities to warrant a diagnosis. That area… you know, the one that’s diverse-yet-without-symptoms-of-a-specific-condition? Mental illness has led to some of the worst times of my life... but it has also led to some of the most brilliant. Bad things happen, but good things can come from them. And strange as it might sound, my mental health has been vastly improved by being mentally ill.' I was less impressed with the Boiler Theory and repetition of 'get out of your own way' (how??). Also, the anxious should keep in mind that Gordon’s list of worries in chapter five may give you new ideas for things to worry about. On the other hand, 'what other people think of you is none of your business' is a great point. I find that being an introvert helps with not caring about other people's perceptions (other than people I love). The same chapter raises the interesting question of self-acceptance and self-awareness. Gordon is adamant that you should accept yourself, not try to please others, and 'learn that a healthy relationship is one in which you love each other unconditionally'. This made me wonder to what extent self-acceptance is possible when mental illness stops you from seeing yourself clearly. What version of yourself are you accepting? Moreover, unconditional love and self-acceptance could conflict with the importance of boundaries, emphasised in the prior section. I'm a little uncomfortable with absolute self-acceptance: we live in a society and should be willing to see flaws in ourselves. This section could maybe do with a bit more nuance. It maybe isn't as ground breaking as her other books but Gordon writes with insight about coping with intrusive thoughts, addiction and how to seek help. She has certainly done her research as she asks top mental health providers how to access the help people need as well as the best way to breathe to calm down. She combines this with her own personal battles and mantras she has used. She always manages to add her unique humour to such a taboo subject. I love how she calls her illness Jareth and liked the way she compares us to boilers and how we all need to keep the auto pilot light on which is our self-esteem.

It was a time of incredible sharing and exploration,” she says. “I was just so overwhelmed with all these senses that people had that we didn't even know about – people who couldn’t recognise faces, people with extraordinary synaesthesia. There are so many things in the mind that we never imagined. As Armstrong argues, we should try to question our assumptions about different behaviours and the value judgements we place on them. He points out that when he is delivering lectures, some people with autism will walk around the room. Clearly, that is not the way that most of the stationary audience are behaving. “But why is it ‘abnormal’ to want to move and learn at the same time?” The term has since been employed for many purposes – as a word for empowerment, a means for celebrating qualities some neurological conditions can bring, and as a term of identity. But Singer had never intended for it to be used to describe a particular condition. Instead, she meant to for it to be used in a more general sense, to describe the variety of all brains. Mental illnesses] try to take over by turning you against yourself; by removing your energy, or by giving you too much; by cutting you off from the people who care about you and telling you that nobody actually does care about you. They remove all your sense of self-worth. They blot out all the hope. They tell you that nothing will help. And how do you even start to feel hope when you are under the influence of an illness whose main symptom is telling you that there is none? One of the biggest barriers to finding help is the belief that you are beyond it. Unfortunately, this is also one of the main symptoms of most mental health issues. We know, for example, that exercise can be one of the most effective tools for helping mental illness. The million, billion, TRILLION dollar question is, how do we help people with mental illness to want to exercise? How do we help people to do what is right for them, when they are under the malign influence of something that only wants what's worst for them? One of the greatest things about all of Bryony’s writing is she is just so damn honest, making her books so relatable to the average reader. She tells her story without any filter, airs or graces. Her support and advice throughout this book makes this so much more than just a “self help” book, it becomes a companion. A comforter.Mental illness has led to some of the worst times of my life… but it has also led to some of the most brilliant. Bad things happen, but good things can come from them. And strange as it might sound, my mental health has been vastly improved by being mentally ill.’ but she also gets that insomnia is far more than ‘drinking a cup of cocoa’ (as I have, literally, had friends suggest - although she worded it more along the lines of being awake in the middle of the night, reading articles about insomnia on Google - and how they explicitly instruct NOT to read such articles while suffering insomnia. She questions if the people who wrote these articles ever really struggled with insomnia - which, I think, anybody who has ever really struggled with depression/insomnia has DEFINITELY questioned about ‘professionals’ AND friends, who give well-meaning advice). She understands that ‘meditation/mindfulness’ - though a common suggestion from well-intentioned friends, is useless when you are really struggling. She talks about meditation/mindfulness being great for maintaining well-being... but, really, if you are struggling to live another day, it’s more harm than good. She just gets it. Far more than I do. By recognising those biases, we can then change the environment to cater for people’s different needs. Some progress is being made – UK supermarket chain Morrisons have introduced a weekly “quiet hour”, for instance, for autistic shoppers who struggle with music and noise. A number of other big supermarket chains are now trialling similar initiatives. I loved Bryony Gordon's other book, Mad Girl, and rated it 4/5 ⭐ so it's safe to say I had high expectations for her latest book. But sadly, this one fell flat... The method involves a wireless EEG system that measures the electrical activity in the brain. EEG is a harmless and objective method which can provide crucial information on how these amazing brains process reading material. This will enable the development of a strengths-based reading support strategy specific for autistic learners.

I really identified with this book. I haven’t ever suffered from depression before the past year - my doctor calls it circumstantial depression. The authors struggles are different than mine - she struggles from anxiety and excessive worrying. I don’t. And yet, she resonated with me. Mixed feelings about this. Initially I liked it: the almost conversational tone, the references to the early days of the pandemic, but the more I got through it, the actual style of writing became annoying (quotations that desperately wanted to sound profound, bullet point lists so long they lost their impact).

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The world as we knew it was finally ending, and the most bizarre thing had happened: I knew it was going to be OK. Or, more accurately, I knew it was going to be messy, uncertain, stressful, fraught, frightening, lonely, and overwhelmingly sad - but that it would still be OK. Sonia talks to students, parents and specialist teachers about their experiences in the education system, and what they think works best for children who learn differently. Instead, it felt like a sub-standad 'how to deal with poor mental health' tool kit book but with nothing we haven't heard before. Meditate. Sleep well. Question negative thoughts. You know the jazz. Mad Girl was full of engaging and sometimes witty extracts about dealing with poor mental health, and made for a relatable read as someone who somerimes suffer with poor mental health.

Journalist, author, podcaster, and activist Bryony Gordon has long been open about her mental health. Over the years, she has suffered from OCD, depression, bulimia, and alcoholism – most of which she did completely alone, just like everyone else who suffers from mental illness. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Even so, Armstrong agrees that reality is far more subtle than these terms would suggest. “We typically see kids do X, Y, and Z. So, in terms of defining these kids, we can say neurotypical, but to tell you the truth, ultimately, I see that the more we learn about a child, the more they appear in their true diversity as a unique individual. And if we see each child, each teen, each adult as a unique individual, then all bets are off as far as creating a dividing line between those who are neuro-diverse and those who are neurotypical.”

NZME’s head of digital audio, James Butcher, says NZME is committed to creating content that resonates and connects with its diverse audiences. With the chance to share your thoughts and experiences, or put your own questions to Bryony, in this interactive – yet entirely anonymous – group discussion, this event will teach us how we can all feel stronger, better, and just a little bit less alone.