Living with the Dominator

Product Information

This is now available with the supplementary work book ‘The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’. This workbook makes the Freedom Programme even more accessible." I initially wrote the ‘Freedom Programme’ to educate women, girls, men and boys. Then in 2008 I published ‘Living with the Dominator’. I wanted to reach everyone who was unable to attend a Freedom Programme. Makes the abuse seem less than it was my using the “only” word. For example, it was “only a slap.” When the “only“ word is used the listener does not really hear the rest of the sentence. He also denies there was any abuse or blames us for it. Many men go to the perpetrator programme asking for help to deal with "this horrible woman who forces me to be violent." He also uses all the excuses we have discussed already. As a result we believe him. The Badfather This course is designed to help you to acquire the knowledge, which can help you to live a safer happier life. It is also suitable for you if you are physically attending the programme as it can increase your levels of understanding. If you cannot get to a Freedom Programme then this is a way of completing the course in your own time.

To help women understand the beliefs held by abusive men and in so doing, recognise which of these beliefs they have shared Before purchasing the online course, we want to make sure that you are comfortable with how to use it and can access it in the language of your choice. A woman should provide services and act as an unpaid servant’ – does nothing around the house to help, Burn everything he cooks.A woman should never be allowed to leave or end a relationship, no matter how abusive or violent it is. Of the history of the programme, Ella Tarlton, Casework Co-ordinator at Julian House, said: “The course was developed by Pat Craven who worked as a probation officer with male perpetrators of violence against women and children. After hundreds of conversations with perpetrators she learned that abusive men use the specific tactics to control women and realised this information needs to be shared with vulnerable women. She developed the Freedom Programme to help change, and even save women’s lives and wrote a book in 2008 called “Living with the Dominator” so that the information was accessible to people who could not partake in the programme.” I listened to everything they said and became determined to impart this information to the people who had no understanding of such violence. This included other ‘professionals’ and the women and girls whose lives could be changed or even saved if they were just given this vital information. The course teaches that knowledge is power, and our aim is to give women “Freedom Goggles”, so they can understand abusive tactics and choose healthier relationships. We also help women come to terms with the abuse they have experienced. It can be very therapeutic to talk through your past with those who have similar experiences; it is validating to hear that you are not alone in what you have suffered.” We have recently commissioned the wonderful Offshoot Film Company to animate the entire Freedom Programme.

Key workers in a variety of fields have told me that they are desperate for a simple tool to use one to one with their service users. I envisage that a worker and 'client' who work through the course together will both become simultaneously enlightened! The course can be used by workers who are dealing with 'perpetrators' and to those who deal with 'victims'. If The Dominator wishes to change his behaviour, he needs to change his beliefs about women. He needs to change the RULES OF THE GAME! An abusive person may exhibit only one persona or a combination of many. Putting these behaviours into categories means that when we are faced with abuse we can recognise it as abuse. The Bully The Programme was primarily designed for women as victims of domestic violence, since research shows that in the vast majority of cases of serious abuse are male on female. The Freedom Programme examines the roles played by attitudes and beliefs on the actions of abusive men and the responses of victims and survivors. The aim is to help them to make sense of and understand what has happened to them, instead of the whole experience just feeling like a horrible mess. The Freedom Programme also describes in detail how children are affected by being exposed to this kind of abuse and very importantly how their lives are improved when the abuse is removed.

The Persuader

The Dominator uses various and numerous tactics to keep these rules in place. Here I have described some tactics The Dominator may use to keep each of the above ‘rules’ in place: The Freedom Programme is being run in several schools for both boys and girls. The Home Study Course is an ideal text book for schools and colleges.