Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

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An enlightening read, though you'll be able to tell if this book is for you within the first 20 pages (let's be real, you'll be able to tell by just reading the glossary).

Most people probably know at least one man who suffers from “normative male alexithymia,” for example – the problem of not recognizing and being able to express one’s own feelings – and simply having that problem identified might start the process of undoing it. has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. Thanks to modern medicine, we can enjoy sex without the fear of contracting HIV […] I want to have the best sex I can. I seriously delayed writing this review because I didn't want to seem judgy, and I know that I'm going to come across that way.He attended the "Bisexual White House Briefing" at the White House (under Obama) and has been featured as an expert on a number of podcasts, including "The Savage Lovecast" and “Whoreible Decisions. Every sex positive person over thirty already knows what Zachary Zane is preaching, chapter and verse. This was almost a 5* - I loved the sex positive representation and I think there should be so much more of this in mainstream media. From stories of play sessions with a neighbor at age six to the first explorations of Zane’s bisexuality in college, as well as sex parties, orgies, and fun with butt plugs, Boyslut is reassuring and often painfully funny—and most potently, it is a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.

Deeply affirming, compassionate, and funny/sexy writing about the complexities of queer male experience. Zach wasn’t always the out-and-proud self-proclaimed “Boyslut” and outspoken activist for the non-monogamous bi community.

Even with parents who encouraged his sexual exploration and three queer uncles, it took Zach years and many drunken blow jobs to accept his own bisexuality. Later he realized, “That’s kind of fucked up to take it as a point of pride and to reduce people to objects. Zane is clear from the start that this empowerment and visibility is important because he never had access to out bi men when he was younger and it led to some of the negative experiences in his life.

The stories were fun and interesting, but then he started going on about how not wearing condoms is cool and part of the queer experience and that implying that getting STIs is just a badge of honour and I just couldn't get on board with it.

Zach blushes, visible even over Zoom: “Thank God ‘daddies’ are in, and I think I’ll be sexually desirable well into my sixties. Author Zachary Zane jerks us through the gutters, sex clubs, fabulous lays and wretched mistakes of his sex life. As a bisexual healthcare professional, I want to go on record that there is a difference between shaming someone for having an STI (which I will agree is bad) and shaming someone for a cavalier nonchalance towards infections which are actively mutating to the point where we don't have effective treatments for those who do get infected, often from partners who themselves don't know they are infected because a test doesn't show positive yet. I’d have appreciated some more depth to the discussion of feminist critiques of mainstream porn and marriage - but tbf not sure I’d wanna sacrifice any of the hot anecdotes! For the first time in centuries, I think the world is ready for the communicative, openly sexual, nontoxic Boyslut.