How to Be an Ex-Footballer

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This is the subject of Peter Crouch's third book How To Be An Ex-Footballer (2022) where the ex-Liverpool and England star discusses his own transition into media success but dives deep into case studies of other former pros stories, what options they had and the various roads they've taken. Peter talks to entrepreneurs, men of the cloth, eco warriors, artists, private detectives and budding actors, as well as those who've lost their way in addiction, crime and NFTs. It is disappointing to find that Peter only narrates the prologue, it would’ve been nice the hear him tell all the stories. Often recruited before they've worn long trousers, today's footballers become superstars who earn huge amounts without ever learning much about the world beyond the training ground.

It is a cautionary tale of the pitfalls of life after the final whistle when the ridiculous amounts of money disappear as quickly as the chants from the adoring crowds. On 17 February, Cole played his first match under new manager Kenny Dalglish in a 0–0 draw against Sparta Prague in the Europa League, in which he came on as a first-half substitute for the injured Fábio Aurélio. Crouch speaks from his own experience and discusses with fellow former professionals too—just how do you safely release a near seven-foot striker back into the wild? In 1999, Cole was part of West Ham's victorious FA Youth Cup-winning squad (alongside Michael Carrick), defeating Coventry City 9–0 on aggregate in the final. He started in the League Cup Final at the Millennium Stadium on 27 February, making way for Johnson after 81 minutes of an eventual 3–2 win after extra time against Liverpool.He scored his first goal on 29 October in the League Cup against Notts County, replacing Jesper Grønkjær in the 70th minute and netting the last goal in a 4–2 victory which put Chelsea into the last 16. Joe Cole is better than Lionel Messi, claims Liverpool's Steven Gerrard" The Guardian 10 August 2012. He ended his season by scoring one of the goals in Chelsea's 3–0 win over Manchester United, which earned the Premier League title for the team. In 2007–08, Cole scored a low driven shot that tucked into the corner against West Ham, opting not celebrate against his former club. As someone who’s more interested in the business of football than the physical game itself, I really enjoyed this book and think it might be the best of Crouch’s trilogy.

So what do these Peter Pans, whose careers end just as most people's are getting going, do with the rest of their lives? On 5 June 2012, however, he confirmed that Cole would not remain at Lille after stating that new Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers wanted the player to rejoin the Liverpool squad. Cole's only other goal of the season was his only one in the league campaign, ending a one-two with Frank Lampard to open the scoring after five minutes away to Newcastle United, albeit in a 1–2 defeat.

Just as there are books being written to be turned into screenplays, there are definitely books that are written to be listened to as opposed to read. On 3 April 2010, Cole scored the first goal in a 2–1 win at Old Trafford against Manchester United in a potential title deciding game.

The playmaker underwent a career renaissance during his loan spell with Lille, scoring on four occasions in 27 league appearances and providing three assists. The story was difficult to follow due to the narration switching from Crouchy to interviewed players and back with zero vocal change and little description of a change. Following his successful substitute appearance, he was included in the starting line-up for Lille's Round of 16 Coupe de la Ligue match against Ligue 2 club Sedan on 26 October. Despite his talent, some pundits have argued that he failed to live up to the potential he demonstrated in his youth, partially due to the recurring injuries he sustained throughout his career. However How to be an Ex Footballer as well as having its expected fill of funny anecdotes also has a darker side.Those facts are mentioned, but this book is more about the more entertaining things footballers have gone on to do, whether it's a career in art or releasing their own range of condoms. On his debut against Saint-Étienne, he gained his first assist after a solo run where he took on and beat four players to set up the third goal in Lille's 3–1 victory.