Whatever Next! (A Bear Family Book, 2)

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A somewhat different book than the first of her autobiography “Lady in Waiting,” this one is told in the same humorous, matter of fact style but with much more openness and honesty about some things which were whitewashed (her marriage) or glossed over (her childhood trauma at the hands of a nasty governess) in the first book. She still lives near Holkham, in Norfolk, where she grew up as the daughter of the Earl of Leicester. She was one of the maids of honour at the Queen’s coronation and soon afterwards married Colin Tennant, Lord Glenconner. He took her to a brothel on their wedding night so she could learn what was required. That was only the first of his outrages – he expected her to carry his luggage through airports – but soon he was swept up in the excitement of creating his own island paradise, Mustique, and she saw less of him.

Anne Glenconner's remarkable life hasn't always been as glamorous as one would expect of the daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, but it's certainly been an eventful one. From being raised in the beautiful Holkham Hall to living in a tent in the jungles of Mustique, and from exploring the world with Princess Margaret, to keeping pace with her unrestrained and impulsive husband - Lord Glenconner - Anne has lived many extremes. In “Whatever Now” Anne’s tone is more serious. She explains why she never divorced her seriously abusive husband and discusses useful coping strategies and resources. She also explains why she had to let go of her anger and forgive her two older sons for life choices which led them to die young: otherwise she felt she could not have moved forward in her own life and helped her third son during the five years it took him to recover from a devastating motorcycle accident. This was good, and it was lovely to spend time with Lady Anne once again. I adore her. I prefer her first book, Lady in Waiting.

She wraps up with some life advice: "Joy is always waiting for us somewhere in life, even in our darkest moments and often in the most surprising of ways, and that embracing life in all its strangeness has so much good to offer ... I try to keep abreast of things rather than sinking into my own little world, and a positive mindset is always a great asset." I felt bad for Princess Margaret when Anne wrote of how the press had to set up a "bad sister" to play against the Queen as "good sister." It made me dislike the press more than I already do (is that even possible?!). So much of what we hear on the news is set up in templates the media has decided on, which may have little basis in reality. Since the second book is definitely informed by the first one, my recommendation is to read both books of Anne Glenconnor’s autobiography.

When writing about her life, I couldn't help many times but be amazed at what it must be like to have such wealth: "We had an excellent staff, and though I felt terribly busy at the time, I never cleaned a bath or made a bed." No, because I was able to murder her in my novel A Haunting at Holkham[published in 2021]. I got rid of her and there was a wonderful feeling of relief. This is true of a lot of the awful things that have happened to me in my life. Now I’ve written about them, I feel completely different. It’s had a wonderful effect on me. My mother whizzed around Norfolk on her beloved Harley Davidson until she was well into her sixties, in her motorcycle leathers. She was my great friend and champion when I was growing up, and encouraged me to be brave and adventurous, but she never fussed about what I was feeling or wanted to indulge my anxieties. We had to put others first, but not to the extent of becoming doormats in our dealings with the world. It was important to stand up for oneself when necessary. Otherwise her message was simple. Never complain. Life isn’t fair. You will have to do things you won’t want to do, so just get on with it. Putting a brave face on things was all we could do.” Well, I’ve given up supper. I find that eating late gives me indigestion and I wanted to lose weight around my middle. It’s marvellous. I never feel hungry. I have breakfast and a good lunch and that’s it. I lost a stone without trying. I also walk every day and properly. You’ve got to lift your feet up.Anne seemed to have great common sense in dealing with things: "Sometimes I find that talking too much about life's problems can simply make one more agitated and prolong the misery. Friends mean well, but they tend to sympathize and tell you you're right to be so upset and egg you on to feel wronged. That can actually make things worse if you let it." I think this is a great observation! Princess Margaret was also a believer that "one didn't dwell." She also downplays crying. "It's absolutely no use." Generally I agree with this too.

Anne wasn't the only one in her family to deal with marital woes; she mentions her beloved sister Carey, who had a husband "who would only talk to her through the dog for years on end." This is very sad, but I'll admit I had to laugh when I read it :) Who can believe the things some people do?! She was the most wonderful friend to me, because she saw all this [the trouble with Colin] going on. She had some of the same problems herself – I saw how Tony [Lord Snowdon] behaved – and it was worse for her, because she was in the public eye. But she saved my life in a way. She was caring, but she was also practical. She didn’t approve of crying or moaning. You had to pull yourself together. Some letters come from people who are facing difficult times, often asking my advice on how to cope. It’s very difficult as all our lives are so different and we cope in different ways. I tell them never to give up, and remind them that life often turns round. I also encourage them not to dwell on things. There is a difference, I think, between facing problems and allowing oneself to be overwhelmed by them, though that can be a difficult line to tread. I also tell them I try to think of myself as a puppet with a string coming out of the top of my head, pulling me upwards. That way I sit up straight and look forward. Quite honestly, it makes me feel better if I ever get depressed. It’s often silly things that can make a difference.” The Queen always understood that the deference paid to her was because of her position and what she represented, not because of who she was as a person. I think one of the reasons she was so loved was because she was not arrogant or haughty.”Anne brings her stark forthrightness, signature charm and bravery to show the world what her life has taught her, including when she endured the darkest moments of her marriage. Despite what she has endured she remains resilient and has thrived as time moves forward. She became an expert at the fine art of diplomacy, learning when to make peace and when to stand and fight, when to lean on trusted friends and when to take a lover. Alongside all of this, she gained great proficiency at throwing incredible parties, surviving at the centre of the Royal Family, maintaining a resplendent home and - as a lady in waiting - gaining much needed diplomatic skills and the finer points of etiquette. As a parent she endured some of the hardest lessons a parent can, gaining the fortitude and experience to endure even the worse life can offer, as well as how to celebrate the great things life has to offer too their fullest. Yes, but thanks to this book, I’ve had the most wonderful conversations with them. We’ve been able to talk about what Colin, their father, did to them in great detail and I’ve been able to say: “Oh, darlings.” Anne Glenconner was born Lady Anne Coke in 1932. The eldest daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, she grew up at Holkham Hall in Norfolk and was a childhood friend of the late Queen and Princess Margaret and a maid of honour at the Queen’s coronation. She married Colin Tennant, later Lord Glenconner and the owner of Mustique, an island in the West Indies, in 1956. They had five children together, of whom three survive. Her son Charlie, a former heroin addict, died of hepatitis in 1996. Her son Henry died of Aids in 1990. She was appointed lady in waiting to Princess Margaret in 1971. Her first book, a memoir called Lady in Waiting, was published in 2019 and became a surprise hit. Now she has written another, Whatever Next?, in which she reveals that during her marriage she was a victim of domestic violence. You feel that your governess, Miss Bonner , who tied you to your bed at night as a child, made you more vulnerable to a man like Colin Tennant . Does she still haunt you?