Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Product Information

You may start feeling that you are solely accountable for their happiness, well-being, and emotional state. Regardless of the specifics, the experience of walking on eggshells can be incredibly draining and stressful. It can also have a significant impact on your mental health over time. Causes of Walking on Eggshells Help the BP put together a support team so you don’t feel overburdened and exhausted. The first person should be the BP’s therapist, who can work with the BP to reduce self-harm. I DESPISED this book. It presents BPD as a burden on the lives of those people "unfortunate" enough to care for someone who has it. It focuses on "surviving the ordeal" rather than helping them find ways to cope with the fallout while being loving and supportive. It all but says "get out while you can" and implies strongly that a BPD person isn't worth loving.

Relationship issues: Walking on eggshells can cause problems in your relationships with others. You may start to feel resentful or angry towards someone who you feel is forcing you to constantly censor yourself. Navigating this territory requires its own strategy and agreements– which is more than a single blog can cover. ‘Cause conflict in relationships ain’t simple. (If this is the part you find difficult, keep reading. There’s some important next steps for you.) A ‘walking on eggshells’ situation can occur anywhere and with anyone, from your boss, friends, parents, siblings, and co-workers, and most commonly found with a spouse or partner. The foundation of a healthy relationship is based on mutual love, respect, and open and honest communication. If either of these pillars crumbles, then the whole relationship can break down. Your partner is meant to be your best friend and your confidant. This won’t work when you feel the need to walk on eggshells in your relationship.I hope this blog helped you. For more, you can write to us at [email protected] or DM us on social media. You can also share your thoughts in the comments section below. My partner is just tired and overworked. I did make a mistake, and I deserve that. He’s a good provider and a good person.” Emotional exhaustion: Trying to maintain a constant state of vigilance and awareness around someone else can be exhausting, both mentally and emotionally. You may find yourself feeling drained and fatigued on a regular basis. Emotional intimacy is the single most important factor for a fulfilling relationship. Here's everything you need to know about emotional intimacy. In particular, the sense of a "void". BPDs don't have a strong sense of self, and Mason often describes it as the person having a void inside them that they cannot fill, which is exactly how I've described it in the past.

I read this because it was billed as being a good primer for boundary setting (which 2020 has sorely tested--everyone needs more right now than anyone can give, and yet still it seems we all keep asking the impossible of each other) and a good intro to BPD, which impacts my life in various ways. Something goes wrong, and your partner immediately tries to blame you . You don’t even have time to explain or clarify the situation. Your partner makes you feel bad about what happened and would even say mean words about how you are incapable of doing anything right. They’re not ‘having a go’ at us. They’re not insinuating that there’s something wrong with us for having feelings. (Remember – we’ve already agreed that All Feelings Are Welcome.) If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship, then here are some common signs you need to look out for; make them feel bad about themselves (shame, guilt, disregarded, rejected, unattractive, incompetent, inadequate)

stop walking on eggshells #1:

If you feel that you need the help of an expert, don’t hesitate to ask for it. Your partner might need to go through sessions such as eggshell therapy or anger management . Ending a relationship can be distressing – no matter how your partner had been. To understand the need to move out of the relationship, you need to understand your emotional needs and what you need from a partner – emotionally, too.

When your partner gets angry at you, you just keep quiet and stay still until this person, who you love so much, calms down. You used to be independent, happy, and positive, but now, you just fear making the tiniest mistakes. You look into the mirror and see a terrified stranger, and you wonder what happened. Your relationship becomes a complicated network of carefully chosen steps and words and then waits with bated breath about your partner’s reaction. Being on constant high alert and scared to speak your mind to avoid upsetting your partner’s mood becomes more and more normal in the relationship. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. This behavior can manifest in many different ways, depending on the situation. For example, you might avoid bringing up certain topics of conversation around a friend who gets easily offended. Or, you might walk on eggshells around your boss, never questioning their decisions or expressing your opinions.Fear of angering or upsetting someone: If you’ve experienced emotional or physical abuse in the past, you may be more likely to try to avoid making someone angry or upset. This can lead to walking on eggshells around people who have a history of reacting violently or aggressively.